In 2017, Tyler McIntyre released the clever and underappreciated horror comedy Tragedy Girls to much fanfare among those in the know. For It’s a Wonderful Knife, MacIntyre has teamed with and handed over the writing chores to Michael Kennedy who wrote the crudfest Freaky in 2020.
MacIntyre leaning on Kennedy and not scribbling out Knife himself has proven to be as big a mistake as serving Christmas fruit cake at your family gathering. It is painful to look at, painful to taste and painful to swallow. Mostly this is because writer/producer Michael Kennedy has not only come into possession of South Park’s Panderstone but also read The Writer’s Guide to the Wokeiest Woke-Woke Screenplay Writing from cover to cover it seems making it seem like Knife was produced in 2015 not 2023. Right out of the box it seems very dated.
And just to be clear when I reference or use the term “woke” I don’t mean simply respecting identities and cultures of others as any decent human should do. I am speaking about the South Park meaning of “woke” which is excessive, gratuitous, disingenuous pandering for affirmation and clout within Hollywood and certain political circles. When you approach a project with the emphasis, focus and attention on pandering first and foremost and not the actual story Knife is the kind of toxic waste you end up with.
Although the performances are all quite good, Knife’s story is as terribly weak, hokey and as predictable what happens to Frosty in that infamous greenhouse. As the title suggests Knife is a parody of the holiday classic It’s a Wonderful Life starring James Stewart. Recycling very badly seems to be Kennedy’s forte as this is what he did with his previous film Freaky, which was based on the Disney film Freaky Friday.
Jane Widdop (Laura Lee in the amazing Yellowjackets series) is Winnie Carruthers, an amateur shutterbug who halts the rampage of a serial killer during the holidays in her sleepy town of Angel Falls by the lamest, most hackneyed way ever. She doesn’t cleave their head off with a machete in slow-motion or shoot them six times so they do a somersault off a balcony. She electrocutes them with jumper cables.
Wah. Wah. Waaaaah.
That’s just one example of the level of creativity on display here but what is one to expect from a writer who cribs the genesis of their ideas from other more successful films?
Jane is a bit of a Debbie Downer so like George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life she wishes she had never been born and that lands her in an alternate reality where the killer is still at large. The identity of both killers, the big hooks of the movie, are completely obvious to anyone with a functioning brain which takes all the fun out of the slasher mystery.
The only aspects worth watching Knife for are the kills which mimic the ferocity of Ghostface’s in Scream. A giant candy cane rammed through the neck or chest of a victim is the best of them all. The actual design of the killer is wicked as well. Modelled after a Christmas tree angel topper, there is just something cool about the featureless white mask and outfit, especially when all that blood is splattered all over it.
All of this is a waste though because like trudging through a blizzard to get home for the holidays. You have to suffer through a lot before the next cool kill. A lot of feeble, insipid characters. A lot of expected twists. A lot of shameless, transparent pandering.
Knife is that banal, inoffensive, mundane secret Santa gift you got at the office this year. It is nothing you asked for as a horror fan, nothing you wanted as a horror fan and you would re-gift it, dump it on someone else in a flash if you could but nobody else would really want it either.
Its a Wonderful Knife is debuting on Shudder in December.
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