2024 was an odd year for horror. We didn’t see many sequels and those that did come out were surprisingly good. We witnessed a lot of faux horror movies. Movies that claimed to be horror movies but were really some kind of drama, mostly of the family or relationship kind. There was also the continued rise of Goosebumps horror, movies really made for tweens not even teens.
Here at Binge News we made every attempt to check out, to screen every horror movie of note this year and rank them by grade. There are some exceptions though:
If the film wasn’t available in English, had no subtitles or dubbing we had to pass.
If the film was so low, low, low budget that the “filmmakers” couldn’t even get the simple things like editing, continuity or lighting right, we had to pass.
If the film was not widely released in 2024 and was only screened at the Monster Horror Mystery Fan Festival in Buckfuck, Montana, we don’t consider that RELEASED. Sorry, no.
Also, each grade installment is listed from best to worst. So, the last entry in F Grade is what we consider the worst Horror movie of the 2024 and in turn the first entry in A Grade is what we consider the best of 2024.
Synopsis: A fading celebrity takes a black-market drug: a cell-replicating substance that temporarily creates a younger, better version of herself.
Review: This blew my mind and not many movies do that. Be warned. It is NOT for everyone. The horrific, unsettling gore is like David Cronenberg’s Videodrome got into The Fly’s molecular transporter with the alien from John Carpenter’s The Thing.
Demi Moore is an aging fitness model who goes to extreme measures to recapture her youth spawning a younger clone of herself in Margaret Dualley (Andie MacDowell’s daughter). With this and her performance in Drive-Away Dolls Dualley is a star on the rise for sure.
I saw this as more of a morality tale about being at peace with yourself and aging in general but it is also about female beauty. Do we really need to portray every male character as an abysmal asshole though to deliver that message? Nevertheless, this ranks up there with the best Cronenberg body horror films and that is impressive considering Coralie Fargeat has only made this and the controversial Revenge. She is a definitely a visionary director and writer to keep tabs on. This is shocking, thought-provoking and the best horror movie of the year.
Synopsis: While scavenging the deep ends of a derelict space station, a group of young space colonists come face to face with the most terrifying life form in the universe.
Review: It borrows something here and there from the Alien mythos but this patchwork comes together as a faithful bow to what has made the 45-year-old franchise endure for so long. Give the people what they want. It is that simple. It is different yet the same. My order would now be: Alien, Aliens, Romulus, Alien vs. Predator, Alien 3, Covenant, Prometheus, Alien Resurrection, Alien vs Predator Requiem.
Synopsis: A gothic tale of obsession between a haunted young woman and the terrifying vampire infatuated with her, causing untold horror in its wake.
Review: I am a big fan of Hammer, gothic horror so this one was a hit with me despite being disjointed and very heavy in some places. The atmosphere alone was incredible. I am not a fan of the ending though. I get that it feeds into the whole obsession theme but I think it was far too complex when a simpler conclusion would have been best. As far as the Dracula story goes it doesn’t introduce much that is strikingly new or fresh but that is perhaps a good thing.
Synopsis: Two ancient titans, Godzilla and Kong, clash in an epic battle as humans unravel their intertwined origins and connection to Skull Island’s mysteries.
Review: Us Godzilla fans have been spoiled as of late. First the amazing Godzilla Minus One and now THIS. Two of the best Godzilla films ever made. This movie kicks ALL the ass and is the perfect blend of human story and the Kaiju story. Oh, and the best use of Kiss’ ‘I Was Made for Lovin’ You’ ever and King Kong suplexes Godzilla!
Synopsis: Art the Clown is set to unleash chaos on the unsuspecting residents of Miles County as they peacefully drift off to sleep on Christmas Eve.
Review: Splatter horror is DEFINITELY NOT for everyone. With that said, this is the third movie in the Terrifier franchise and the series is already growing a bit stale. The kills aren’t as creative and neither are Art’s repeated, recycled pantomimes. They are predictable and not as darkly amusing as they have been in the past. Unlike the last movie and the best in the franchise, this film plays out like a series of gags that have been strung together. Sure, lots of limbs and heads get lopped off but there is very little here that a splatter horror fan hasn’t seen before. The last film really elevated the franchise. This one regresses it prioritizing how far they can push the violence rather than how creative they can be with it. Like the others in the franchise, I am glad I saw it and admire the audacity of the filmmakers as they push the limits of splatter but I have no desire to see it again.
Synopsis: A father and his twin teenage sons fight to survive in a remote farmhouse at the end of the world.
Review: You have seen this kind of movie before but not like this. The creatures are astoundingly cool and the drama is off the chart. A fresh and human take on the whole apocalyptic creature feature genre. It will exceed your expectations going in.
Synopsis: A live television broadcast in 1977 goes horribly wrong, unleashing evil into the nation’s living rooms.
Review: It will have you sitting on the edge of your seat until the big reveal at the end. A terrific vehicle for David Dastmalchian who is unforgettable in this.
Synopsis: Nothing is what it seems when a twisted one-night stand spirals into a serial killer’s vicious murder spree.
Review: Notwithstanding its plot holes it is a gritty, sometimes disturbing thriller with killer performances from Willa Fitzgerald and Kyle Gallner. However, the entire film hinges on ONE twist which you can figure out long before it is revealed if you give it some thought. The twist has also been done many times before in various older, newer horror movies. Director, writer JT Mollner isn’t breaking any new ground here despite putting together an intense thriller that goes right for the jugular…figuratively and literally.
Synopsis: When a locket is removed from a collapsed fire tower in the woods that entombs the rotting corpse of Johnny, a vengeful spirit spurred on by a horrific 70-year old crime, his body is resurrected and becomes hellbent on retrieving it.
Review: The best way to describe this film is Friday 13th from Jason’s point of view. Campers take something that doesn’t belong to them awakening a spirit of vengeance. We have all seen tracking shots of killers in slasher movies before but not a movie that is 85% dedicated to following the engine of destruction as they slice and dice their prey. Incredibly creative with some great kills. The only flaw is the way some of those prey react. One of the best horror films of 2024.
Synopsis: After raising an unnervingly talented spider in secret, 12-year-old Charlotte must face the facts about her pet-and fight for her family’s survival-when the once-charming creature rapidly transforms into a giant, flesh-eating monster.
Review: Alyla Browne, who at 14 has already starred the soul-crushing and inspirational The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart, The Secret Kingdom, Nine Perfect Strangers and the cruddy Children of the Corn remake, steals the show as the rebellious and frenzied Charlotte. Her slow change from a fragile and sensitive kid to being slightly unhinged and manic is a wicked reveal. The running gag about the missing exterminators is as funny as the cop gag in The Return of the Living Dead.
Full Review:
Synopsis: In the wake of an environmental collapse that is forcing humanity to shed 20% of its population, a family dinner erupts into chaos when a father’s plan to enlist in the government’s new euthanasia program goes horribly awry.
Review: Caitlin Cronenberg’s first movie is a tour de force, although I am sure she got some friendly advice from dad. The tension ratches up as each member of the family is backed into a corner during a life or death struggle. A twisted, unsettling story that will stick with you long after the final credits roll.
Synopsis: A young woman inherits a run-down pub and discovers a dark secret within its basement – Baghead – a shape-shifting creature that will let you speak to lost loved ones, but not without consequence.
Review: Technically, this movie was released in Germany in 2023 but the rest of the world was 2024 so we are including it. Baghead is a different kind of supernatural horror movie that stands above today’s glut of haunted house and possession movies that have been literally recycled to death at this point unless they are made in Korea, China or Japan. Freya Allan (Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes and The Witcher) is Iris, a down on her luck woman who inherits a dilapidated pub from her estranged father (Peter Mullan). Iris decides not to immediately sell it to an overly anxious buyer. She instead wants to spend some time there and learn more about her dad. Iris is unaware that the pub has a dark past and that living in the basement is a gruesome yet prized creature (‘Baghead’) who has a shocking and miraculous power that would be dangerous in the wrong hands especially if ‘Baghead’ were allowed to escape into the outside world. There are many twists and turns in this unconventional story. Some will find it incredibly refreshing while others will certainly see it as a scatterbrained mess.
Synopsis: A young woman named Sam finds herself trapped in New York City during the early stages of an invasion by alien creatures with ultra-sensitive hearing.
Review: With two previous movies the cat is out of the bag as far as what we’d expect from A Quiet Place movie. So, there is nothing new or surprising here. We know how the aliens function. We know they invaded Earth. We know you have to be quiet as a church mouse or you are toast. However, despite all of that, this sequel is not just another rehash because of the very personal and emotional stories of Samira (Lupita Nyong’o) and Eric (Joseph Quinn) who find themselves trapped in New York when the onslaught begins.
Synopsis: A group of friends camp out and tell scary stories.
Review: Anthology films are a rarity these days. It didn’t help that this one didn’t get much exposure or recognition. The stories themselves are quite good, some more creative than others, and why they are being told is an intriguing scenario that leads into the big finale. Don’t sleep on this one especially if you are a fan of Creepshow, etc.
Synopsis: When two siblings return to their childhood home, they are confronted by a violent, supernatural presence that dwells deep within their worst traumas.
Review: A very disturbing film in the sense of how the longstanding abuse is portrayed and how it has effected the lives of both the bother and sister. Unlike other films that try to tackle real life issues with a horror backdrop this one works very well because it has a great balance of those elements. I have never seen a film telling this kind of story in this way.
Synopsis: A young American woman is sent to Rome to begin a life of service to the church, but encounters a darkness that causes her to question her faith and uncovers a terrifying conspiracy that hopes to bring about the birth of evil incarnate.
Review: Nell Tiger Free continues to impress. A total throwback to the original film. It stands on its own though as a superior supernatural horror movie.
Synopsis: In a desperate attempt to protect her ten-year-old daughter, a young widow allows a nightmarish monster to slowly eat her alive.
Review: One of the most original horror movies of the year. Chaz Bono has a bit part and his mom Cher helped produced it. At times it is unsettling and at times it is very unsettling. It reminded of something Clive Barker would include in the Books of Blood. Barbara Crampton and Heather Langenkamp star alongside Krsy Fox and Jon Sklaroff who are incredible as the mom and the monster.
Synopsis: After a family tragedy, three generations of the Deetz family return home to Winter River. Still haunted by Beetlejuice, Lydia’s life is turned upside down when her teenage daughter, Astrid, accidentally opens the portal to the Afterlife.
Review: Far, far better than the original although I have no idea why two of the characters were in the movie as they weren’t given much screen time at all. It is better but not hugely memorable.
Synopsis: Six bloodcurdling tapes unleash horror in a sci-fi inspired hellscape, pushing the boundaries of fear and suspense.
Review: I am not, I repeat NOT, a fan of found footage films. I can count on one hand how many I actually would watch a second time. I have NOT been a fan of the VHS series. I find most entries to be sloppy and incohesive. Beyond though is not only held together by a clever riff on a documentary but the stories themselves have some of the creepiest horror moments in 2024. Even though you have to suspend your disbelief at times that these events are being recorded by someone, there are some unforgettable moments and tales here.
Synopsis: When the discovery of an ancient artifact unleashes an evil force, Ghostbusters new and old must join forces to protect their home and save the world from a second ice age.
Review: A great integration of the old and new generation of Ghostbusters. It is kind of just more of the same though. Besides the guest appearances there are no massive high points. Still, it is better than others in the series.
Synopsis: After a group of criminals kidnap the ballerina daughter of a powerful underworld figure, they retreat to an isolated mansion, unaware that they’re locked inside with no normal little girl.
Review: Abigail has some decent kills and performances from everyone involved. Its ending is just very draining when it didn’t have to be.
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Synopsis: In 1980s Hollywood, adult film star and aspiring actress Maxine Minx finally gets her big break. But as a mysterious killer stalks the starlets of Hollywood, a trail of blood threatens to reveal her sinister past.
Review: As a tribute to Giallo films it works well. As a conclusion to the trilogy it is disappointing in every way except for Mia Goth’s performance and that road rage scene.
Synopsis: When a group of friends recklessly violates the sacred rule of Tarot readings, they unknowingly unleash an unspeakable evil trapped within the cursed cards. One by one, they come face to face with fate and end up in a race against death.
Review: Here is how you start a new franchise although it is a bit like Final Destination. You have got to love the grotesque Tarot Card creatures and their crazy powers. It would be higher on the list but it just takes a bit too long to get to all the good stuff. It deserved more praise.
Synopsis: A family trying to outrun the zombie outbreak by returning to the father’s childhood farmhouse, fortifying it to keep out “The Dead Ones”. Alas, there is just as much horror and trauma at the ancestral home as there is outside the gates.
Review: Although it has some decent zombie action, gore the human story is what will pull you in. The family dynamics spark all sorts of fireworks that really ramps things up as the movie unspools.
Synopsis: A psychic medium attempts to uncover the truth behind her sister’s murder at the site of the crime.
Review: Spooky and eerie the only thing that ruins some of the suspense is that you can foresee not only the solution to the grand mystery the film is built on but the very final scene as well. All in all though, a crafty tale from the creator of Caveat.
Synopsis: About to embark on a world tour, global pop sensation Skye Riley begins experiencing increasingly terrifying and inexplicable events. Overwhelmed by the escalating horrors and the pressures of fame, Skye is forced to face her past.
Review: Like The Grudge, One Missed Call, Pulse, The Eye, I thought the first film was a feeble, uninspired rip-off of better Asian horror movies. This follow-up is better than the original but that isn’t saying much. One thing is true though. Writer, director Parker Finn has Lady Gaga on the brain. The target of the curse this time around is a troubled pop star on the comeback trail. That is where the film took a nosedive for me. We have seen the overbearing manager, obsessed fans tropes many, many times before. When there weren’t any supernatural shenanigans going on, I was bored. There aren’t many kills and there aren’t many scares either. Like Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, just take in the BIG reveal in the last 20 minutes or so and you are good. If you liked the first one this is more of the same.
Synopsis: A budding art restorer travels to a small Italian village to bring a medieval painting back to its former glory. Little does she know she is placing her life in danger from an evil curse and a monster born of myth and brutal pain.
Review: A throwback to those great Italian supernatural horror movies from the seventies and eighties. It hits all the right notes except the brutish guardian of the well. He is far too over the top, his character needed to be retooled.
Synopsis: A family that has been haunted by an evil spirit for years. Their safety and their surroundings come into question when one of the children questions if the evil is real.
Review: Although the ending is kind of cluttered and confusing this story will keep you guessing to the end. The two kids (Percy Daggs IV and Anthony B. Jenkins) are the real stars though. Their performances pull us in and keep us zoned in. There might be a sequel or prequel. Yes, please.
Synopsis: When a sinister threat from his childhood returns to haunt him, a father desperately struggles against his deepest inner fear. Only this time, the fight isn’t for himself; it’s for his family.
Review: I have to give the producers credit for trying to do something different. It takes a bit to get going in the sense of delivering the frights and the small twist at the end is predictable, still, it is a far cry from other supernatural, creature features.
Synopsis: Two young religious women are drawn into a game of cat-and-mouse in the house of a strange man.
Review: A thinking man’s gripping cat and mouse drama. Hugh Grant is absolutely diabolical. If you aren’t into heady religious or life discussions though you might find this very talky and the pacing too deliberate.
Synopsis: A young artist gets stranded in an extensive, immaculate forest in western Ireland, where, after finding shelter, she becomes trapped alongside three strangers, stalked by mysterious creatures each night.
Review: Must be really nice to have your dad – M. Night Shyamalan – produce your very first movie. That being said, just like her work on her dad’s The Servant, Ishana Night Shyamalan demonstrates her skill as a director here. The Watchers is definitely influenced by her dad’s work. Still, Ishana makes this film her own. It is an intriguing story that does sweep you, carry you along to the end even if it is quite bloated and overly convoluted especially the finale.
Synopsis: An author returns to his hometown of Jerusalem’s Lot in search of inspiration for his next book, only to discover that the townspeople are being attacked by a bloodthirsty vampire.
Review: ‘Salem’s Lot was supposed to receive a theatrical release but was dumped on HBO Max instead. Now, we know why. Everything that made King’s story so great has been exorcised making Dauberman’s Lot nothing more than a shallow, run-of-the-mill vampire movie. Nothing beyond the atmosphere stands out. Nothing at all.
Full Review:
Synopsis: Soulmates Eric and Shelly are brutally murdered. Given a chance to save the love of his life, Eric must sacrifice himself and traverse the worlds of the living and the dead, seeking revenge.
Review: It isn’t as bad as you have heard but totally unnecessary, unwanted. The saddest part is that it was missed opportunity. They could have shot it in black and white, made it really shadowy and gothic, like the graphic novel. Except for a very long and very gory action scene’s creative use of a sword there was more imagination in the movie poster below. It is unexpectedly bland but expectedly bloody. I have to agree with the original film’s director Alex Proyas who also made the amazing Dark City. “It’s not just a movie that can be remade. It’s one man’s legacy. And it should be treated with that level of respect.”
Synopsis: A group of college friends rent an Airbnb for the biggest music festival of the year. A weekend of partying quickly takes a turn, as the group is murdered one by one.
Review: Even though it is clearly a low budget entry in the slasher genre it is cleverly edited and put together using imagination to compensate for lack of funds. It does try a bit too hard to be current though and there is so much humour it is hard to take it seriously as a slasher. Seven meets Saw meets Scream.
Synopsis: Not wanting to live in the shadows any longer, Winnie-the-Pooh, Piglet, Owl, and Tigger take their fight to the town of Ashdown, leaving a bloody trail of death and mayhem in their wake.
Review: A bigger budget doesn’t necessarily mean a better experience. I rather liked the original film because of its edginess. Now that all those rough corners have all been sanded down and polished, the series has lost a bit of what made it special. I suspect this is only a set-up for a kick ass finale.
Synopsis: Two scientists try to stop a mutation that turns people into werewolves after being touched by a super-moon the year before.
Review: A really clever premise and convincing performances from all the leads is hampered by sub-par creature effects.
Synopsis: Residents of a rundown French apartment building battle against an army of deadly, rapidly reproducing spiders.
Review: Well done in every respect but it doesn’t offer anything really new to the ‘animal horror’ genre.
Synopsis: A married couple, Jay and Beth taking a celebratory camping trip a year after Beth’s cancer remission but they find themselves trapped between a wild madman and a skin stealing monster.
Review: The premise raises curiosity and then disappoints. I wanted more. I wanted more than a creature who is a puff of smoke when hunting its prey in the forest. I wanted more than just Bigfoot from The Six Million Dollar Man when it is in corporal form. I wanted more than a silly slimy slug which gave me Jason Goes to Hell PSTD. I wanted more than a husband being dumped by the script just because he wants to help out his wife who just survived cancer by taking some of the load out of her backpack into his own and other gestures which are kind not overbearing. I wanted more than that lame, predictable ending.
Synopsis: In a world where no one speaks, a devout female-led community hunts down a young woman who has escaped imprisonment. Recaptured, Azrael is due to be sacrificed to an ancient evil in the wilderness, but fights for her own survival.
Review: I will give it to the talent. Being in a world where nobody speaks they have to do a lot of storytelling through their facial expressions and gestures. This makes the movie universal though, no language barriers to fret about. It is also cool how the characters in the film communicate without being able to speak to each other. Scream Queen extraordinaire Samara Weaving puts in another fantastic performance and there are some great, gory effects. The story itself though is fairly formulaic though.
Synopsis: A masked maniac targets cast members at a suburban Halloween haunt attraction, turning their staged injuries into gruesome real-life horrors. As the terror escalates, the lines between performance and reality blur.
Review: Having a budget equal to that of a late night trip to the Taco Bell drive-thru didn’t stop Jake Jarvi from producing a decent tribute to the Halloween season. In the last few years we have seen a number of these haunt attraction movies. This one though comes straight from the heart, has some wicked kills and unexpectedly good performances. A real diamond in the rough.
Synopsis: In pursuit of a serial killer, an FBI agent uncovers a series of occult clues that she must solve to end his terrifying killing spree.
Review: Far too much like Silence of the Lambs. The atmosphere is creepy but one of the crucial plot points sends the movie rocketing into absurdity.
Synopsis: Obsessed with living up to her dead father’s legacy, a young sheriff finds her mettle tested when locals are found ripped to shreds.
Review: Although this movie is about a mutated kangaroo mauling people to death and everyone involved takes the material very, very seriously, it is still a movie about a killer kangaroo.
Synopsis: A gang of bank robbers take shelter in a motel after a Christmas Eve bank heist, unbeknownst to them they are not the most dangerous thing seeking refuge on this cold Christmas night.
Review: It just missed being better than average because of some obvious mistakes, like a vampire taking a bite out of someone and there being not blood on the victim or the bloodsuckers, some of the over the top acting and the fact that this is more of a heist movie than a horror movie. It takes quite some time before the horror element becomes present.
Synopsis: Tells the story of Graham, Jake and Phillip Reilly and their deceased father. Their pasts collide when a family secret is discovered, leading their father’s garage to become the site of revenge from beyond the grave.
Review: An inventive film, especially the special effects, but the pacing, momentum is way off.
Synopsis: Martin’s daughter, Emma, takes up a night watch job to find out what happened to her parents almost thirty years ago. A meeting with Wörmer in his cell pulls the serial killer out of his coma and sets in motion a chain of fateful events.
Review: A forgettable sequel to a movie nobody remembers.
Synopsis: A group of homeless misfits must fight for survival when they discover a plot to exterminate every homeless person in the city.
Review: A remake, retooling, rewriting of a cult classic that some love and some loathe. The special effects are amazing and what will keep most fans watching.
Synopsis: Cecilia, a woman of devout faith, is warmly welcomed to the picture-perfect Italian countryside where she is offered a new role at an illustrious convent. But it becomes clear to Cecilia that her new home harbors dark and horrifying secrets.
Review: An interesting twist on religious horror. Sweeney does well but the film as a whole doesn’t really deliver. Hint. Hint. Nudge. Nudge.
Synopsis: Follows a struggling father who purchases a domestic SIM to help care for his house and family, unaware she will gain awareness and turn deadly.
Review: Megan Fox. In the not-too distant future androids (SIMs) have assumed all sorts of jobs such as performing surgeries, household duties and bartending. Megan Fox. A spiraling father whose wife has been hospitalized buys a SIM (Megan Fox) to help around the house. As dad becomes more and more stressed with work, the kids and his wife, he and the SIM grow closer. Megan Fox. You can probably guess what happens before and after the wife comes home which includes some inter species funtime, if you know what I mean and I think you do. A decent time-waster that doesn’t bring anything new to the table but…Megan Fox.
Synopsis: A couple who find their jovial cab driver diverts them to a remote, haunted road, revealing disturbing motives and his true intentions.
Review: Nick Frost is plenty creepy as a cab driver who kidnaps a troubled young couple. Black Cab is a meandering ghost story that runs out of stream and chills rather quickly. After investing all that time the ending is nothing but exasperating. This is a very slow ride to nowhere.
Synopsis: A troubled actor begins to exhibit a disruptive behavior while shooting a horror film. His estranged daughter wonders if he’s slipping back into his past addictions or if there’s something more sinister at play.
Review: You have seen it all before and better. Falls apart at the big wind up.
Synopsis: A boy and his stepmother fear for their safety after an eerie creature resembling the boy’s recently deceased father visits them.
Review: Rupert Turnbull and Julia Brown deliver strong performances here. The story is what lets them down. I don’t want to get too morose but are Millennials at the stage of their lives where they are losing their parents? Is that why we are getting these types of films? Sorry, the world doesn’t need anymore Babadook clones, thanks.
Synopsis: A 17-year-old girl is forced to move with her family to a resort where things are not what they seem.
Review: Captures your attention until what’s really going on is revealed. The scenario is just way too over the top to be taken seriously and that drives a stake right through the heart of this movie despite the strong performances.
Synopsis: When a mysterious force begins to disrupt their big summer fun, Noah and his friends team up with a retired police detective to embark on a monstrous adventure to save their island. process of excavating an ominous grave unleashes dreadful consequences buried underneath.
Review: A mish-mash of Stephen King’s greatest hits…and not in the Stranger Things way either. The main character is not only an aspiring writer but naturally he is a Boston Red Sox fan too. A little too on the nose, a little too dull and a little too reprocessed.
Synopsis: On a hot summer day in Oslo, the dead mysteriously awaken, and three families are thrown into chaos when their deceased loved ones come back to them. Who are they, and what do they want?
Review: It is a different take on a zombie movie but like so many other “horror movies” released this year it is NOT a horror movie. It is a drama, this one of the family kind.
Synopsis: A struggling young dancer finds herself drawn in by dark forces when a peculiar, well-connected older couple promise her a shot at fame.
Review: Although it is promoted as a prequel this is in reality another needless remake produced by Michael Bay. Apartment 7A is a recycling of Rosemary’s Baby. Despite strong performances old people may be strange or weird but they are not scary.
Synopsis: A coming of RAGE love story about a teenager and her crush, who happens to be a corpse.
Review: It swings for the fences but ends up bunting to get on base. It is kooky, goofy and zany. It just isn’t kooky, goofy or zany enough or focused enough.
Synopsis: The process of excavating an ominous grave unleashes dreadful consequences buried underneath.
Review: Literally next to nothing happens until almost an hour and twenty minutes into the film. A good premise drags and drags on without a payoff in sight.
Synopsis: The Curtis family is selected to test a new home device: a digital assistant called AIA. AIA learns the family’s behaviors and begins to anticipate their needs. And she can make sure nothing – and no one – gets in her family’s way.
Review: Another dumpster fire from the absolute house of dumpster fires: Blumhouse. There is nothing more that you need to know other than a family is terrorized by AI assistant they allow into their homes. Every AI trope from Terminator, 2001, The Stepford Wives, Ghost in the Shell, etc, is put into a cinematic blender…on the LAZY setting. Everyone talks like the writer/director has lived on a desert island for his entire life. Same goes for all the talk, discussions of technology. Sorta like when you used to hear Boomers say: “Information Super Highway” in that dimwitted, spaced out tone of voice. This is like what would happen if Siri or Google made a movie. Bland, predictable and boring.
Synopsis: A family is invited to spend a whole weekend in a lonely home in the countryside, but as the weekend progresses, they realize that a dark side lies within the family who invited them.
Review: Worse than the 2022 original Danish-Dutch film as many things were softened or changed in order for it to be palatable for American audiences. Just like the first movie though it is plagued by outlandish decisions and circumstances.
Synopsis: It’s Alex’s 21st Birthday, but she’s stuck at the amusement arcade on a late shift so her friends decide to surprise her, but a masked killer dressed as Mickey Mouse decides to play a game of his own with them which she must survive.
Review: A boring, sad little film that capitalizes on the fact that The Steamboat Willie copyright expired this year. Hardly any special effects, tension or gore to speak of. The only thing of note is the humour which isn’t bad. There are actual Walt Disney movies that are scarier than this.
Synopsis: Late one night a woman drives by a stranded motorist who is later revealed to have been murdered. After a series of terrifying events the woman believes she is the killer’s next victim.
Review: If there was a category of “Pre-owned Movies” this would be it. Blackwater is the accumulation of “Is she crazy or is she really being stalked, haunted?” premise in existence. There is nothing new, nothing original here. As a bonus, this has some of the worst dialogue ever written. It sounds as if everyone is reading lines from a script instead of speaking naturally.
Synopsis: Tells the story of a young man who has amnesia. He bands together with a rugged survivalist in a zombie-like outbreak to find his girlfriend.
Review: Laughably bad and absolutely stone cold boring all at the same time. Zombies in rubber suits. Every exhausted zombie/apocalyptic trope you have ever seen. Carrie-Ann Moss as a MILF survivalist, which begs the question…What the hell is The Matrix’s Carrie-Anne Moss doing in this clustercrap? I cannot believe this is same dude who directed and wrote Wolfcop.
Synopsis: After a series of strange events leads her to question her family’s isolated life on a fortified compound deep in the English wilds, 10-year-old Willow follows her parents on one of their secret late-night treks to the heart of the forest.
Review: This is NOT a creature feature nor is it a horror movie of any description. It is a family drama that just happens to feature a werewolf dad who doesn’t do much prowling or howling. The only horror in this movie is the moronic ending after all the family squabbling you have had to sit through.
Synopsis: To save Paris from a bloodbath, a grieving scientist is forced to face her tragic past when a giant shark appears in the Seine.
Review: Perhaps the tamest killer shark movie you will ever see. The only action is at the start and end of the film. The rest of the one hour and 44 minute running time is a long, boring, bloodless hunt for the shark where the only drama is the humans arguing with one another about whether to destroy or rescue it.
Synopsis: While attending a festival to commemorate the original zombie attack, Ash and her friends encounter the living dead and must fight back or be devoured.
Review: Ash is the teenage granddaughter of Duane Jones’ character from NOTLD. Although she is supposed to be babysitting she is convinced by her friends to attend the…get this…Festival of the Living Dead, the undead version of Glastonbury or Coachella. Faster than you can say…Send more cops!…a rogue meteorite revives the dead. Ash, Iris and their pals have to hack and slash their way to freedom. Unlike NOTLD’s the garden trowel scene, the shock ending, chase scene at the start, etc, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, memorable or impressive about Festival of the Living Dead. Even the kills are as generic as a throat being cut in a slasher flick. From beginning to end, Festival’s ride is on cruise control just like careers of the Soka Sisters.
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Synopsis: It tells the story of a chef who opens her first restaurant where she battles kitchen chaos, a dubious investor and self doubt, but the pressure heats up thanks to the spirit of the estate’s previous owner who threatens to sabotage her.
Review: Just goes to prove that Blumhouse’s approach to filmmaking is to throw anything against the wall to see if it sticks. You read correctly. This one is about a haunted kitchen where bugs swarm over food . It is hardly a horror movie and more of a bad episode of The Bear. It isn’t scary or eerie or frightening at all. Gordon Ramsay’s rants on Hell’s Kitchen are scarier. Ariana DeBose is the only reason to watch this crap.
Synopsis: Struggling prog-rock musician William Brown finds himself in a living nightmare when he accidentally kills Vlad, the neighbor from hell.
Review: Destroy All Neighbors is like Victor Frankenstein’s creation. It is a bunch of bad set-pieces, a bunch of orphaned script ideas haphazardly sewn together. Unfortunately, this creature was brought to life instead of left on the slab to rot.
Synopsis: It centers on a Filipino family and a daughter who lives overseas as they get haunted by a primal and supernatural curse.
Review: Everyone’s heart is in the right place. They are really trying to produce the next Ringu or Ju-On but it just doesn’t have any momentum so it disappoints. It doesn’t deliver the creeps or the scares.
Synopsis: High school student accidentally travels back to 2003 and decides to stop the serial killer who murdered her sister.
Review: Yet ANOTHER PG 13 slasher movie in which a teenage girl goes back in time to investigate unsolved murders in her hometown and yet ANOTHER PG 13 slasher movie in which the killer wears a hoodie with a mask. How freaking original. No imagination. No gore. No scares. Perfect for those who haven’t graduated beyond Goosebumps yet and even they might find this to be lame.
Synopsis: A teenager just trying to make it through life in the suburbs is introduced by a classmate to a mysterious late-night TV show.
Review: A cool premise that doesn’t come together at all. Justice Smith is cardboard. Brigette Lundy-Paine doesn’t gel with him. The story isn’t impactful or exceptional in any way.
Synopsis: In 1930s Oklahoma amid the region’s horrific dust storms, a woman is convinced that a sinister presence is threatening her family.
Review: Don’t Hold Your Breath expecting anything interesting to happen. How many of these “Old West-Family Down on Their Luck” supernatural movies do we need anyways? It is like they are itching to have their own genre. It takes so long for this slower than molasses plot to play itself out that you would rather go visit your local version of Pioneer Village because watching people churn butter for hours on end or make soap is a rocket ship ride to the moon compared to this film.
Synopsis: An Indiana family discovers strange, demonic occurrences that convince them and their community that the house is a portal to hell.
Review: You know what’s hell? Having to sit through this comatose crapfest. The BIG name cast cannot support a film with such weak foundations. Like many “horror” movies this year, too much drama and not enough terror.
Synopsis: Haunted by a malevolent spirit since childhood, a desperate mother allows herself to become possessed in order to save the life of her terminally ill daughter.
Review: This skeleton doesn’t have any meat on its bones. Everyone just sleepwalks through this low budget mess that has FX worse than any PlayStation 2 game. The movie poster is more frightening than the actual movie. The most mysterious thing about this stupid-natural movie is how Terrence Howard and Cuba Gooding Jr. were convinced to participate. Methinks some Necronomicon type magic was involved as there is no logical or reasonable explanation.
Synopsis: A father and his teen daughter attend a pop concert only to realize they’ve entered the center of a dark and sinister event.
Review: The imbecilic plot by M. Night Shyamalan relies entirely on one implausible coincidence, circumstance after another. Example: In their manhunt, if law enforcement had detailed characteristics of a wanted serial killer like a recognizable tattoo, why not survey, search each likely suspect coming into a concert rather than waiting until everyone was already inside to being their operation? So much of this film just doesn’t make any bloody sense. Schyster Shyamalan hasn’t made a good movie in 20 years. Why does Hollywood keep tossing money into his dumpster fires?
Synopsis: A woman returns to her childhood home to discover that the imaginary friend she left behind is very real and unhappy that she abandoned him.
Review: If you are an adult, if you are a dedicated horror fan, you won’t even flinch during Imaginary. Not only should you be immune to those lazy kind of jump scares by now but you shouldn’t be phased at all by a drooling Fozzy Bear with goofy big teeth as this new entry in Goosebumps Horror is strictly for the kids.
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Synopsis: A family moves into a new home, unaware that a dark secret from the house’s past will unleash a malevolent force in the backyard pool.
Review: Please. The mystery itself is about as intriguing as skimming a pool free of leaves, insects and other debris and the solution is so simple one wonders why the family didn’t enact it earlier. Perhaps because they have the collective IQ of a bag of baseballs? Night Swim does one thing successfully though. It confirms that when it comes to producing horror movies Blumhouse believes in quantity over quality. They are quickly becoming the Full Moon Features of the modern era releasing tons of flops and very few hits.
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Synopsis: Lumina follows four friends desperately searching for their abductee friend. Whether they find their friend or not in the deserts of the US to the sands of the Sahara, will change their lives forever.
Review: The only thing cool about this movie is the movie poster and even that was recycled from Resistance: Fall of Man. The only reason it is above The Front Room as the worst horror movie this year is because it is so bad that it’s unintentionally hilarious. There is some actual fun, entertainment to be had watching it unlike The Front Room.
The special effects look like they were generated on a Commodore PET computer. The acting is so silted, such cardboard that the producers could have saved a lot of money by just hiring life sized cutouts and have them voiced by Mark Hamill and Tara Strong. The dialogue is so clumsy, so devoid of humanity and genuine emotion you have to be forgiven for assuming an AI intelligence in a Dollar Store Tamagotchi toy wrote, generated it. It was actually director, producer and writer Gino J.H. McKoy who I must say has a very promising career in comedy.
You have to see Lumina to actually appreciate that cinematic incompetency on such a massive scale exists outside of an Ed Wood, Dennis Dugan or Rob Zombie production. Not only one of the worst films of 2024 but, move over Catwoman, Loqueesha and Manos: The Hands of Fate, one of the worst ever made. Period.
Synopsis: It tells the story of a newly pregnant couple who are forced to take in an ailing, estranged stepmother.
Review: Please. Old people aren’t frightening or threatening. Duller than a butter knife and about as scary as feeding pigeons in the park. Put her in a nursing home like everyone else does in North America. Problem and movie solved.
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