Poor Murder Monkey. Like Cujo, it isn’t his fault he’s transformed from a cute family pet communicating with a modern day Speak and Spell like E.T. into a ferocious, homicidal, genocidal Murder Monkey. Blame the idiot hoomans.
His owner knew he was bitten by a freaking mongoose or whatever disease-ridden rodent lives in the jungles of Hawaii and instead of IMMEDIATELY bringing him to a vet in case he has rabies, some other deadly freaking disease, he traipsed off to a book signing. Hours later, a veterinarian stops by to give Murder Monkey…antibiotics instead of a vaccination?!!? I wouldn’t trust this “vet” to put a flea collar on my dog. He deserved to have his face ripped off by Murder Monkey.
Because of this sheer incompetence and so much more I was cheering on Murder Monkey as he dispatched the idiot hoomans in very savage ways. Nothing beats him trying to reattach a jaw he ripped off like an unsteady toddler trying to solve a block puzzle though. Classic.
Primate’s filmmakers knew the mission statement and stuck to it. Murder Monkey murders. Hoomans die horribly. Everyone leaves happy. Primate doesn’t try to be anything more than a stupid, laugh-out-loud, VERY fun time at the movies. Stupid hoomans.
Watch: In theatres
This is one of those cerebral, thought-provoking zombie movies so don’t expect a lot of action or gore even though Rey, I mean Daisy Ridley, is swinging a mean axe in the poster. Mirroring the bullshit that is going on there today as far as their chaotic and volatile leadership goes, the movie begins with America massively screwing up and accidentally exploding an experimental weapon off the coast of Tasmania. The blast kills scores of people and destroys the city of Hobart.
Along with other relief effort volunteers, physiotherapist Ava Newman (Ridley) joins the search to help locate and dispose of the bodies. Her husband was attending a remote business retreat there when the weapon went…Kapow! The thing is, some of the dead have been coming back “online” as they say and some of them are grumpy and violent. Partnered up with the irreverent and unpredictable bad boy Clay (Brenton Thwaites from TV’s Titans), Ava convinces him to bail on their military supervisors and travel across Tasmania to try and find her husband.
In We Bury The Dead, the real monsters aren’t the undead but the human beings who survived the catastrophe. Think Day of The Dead and not Dawn of The Dead. Ava’s very personal journey is more of an emotional one than a physical one in the sense that there is more mental anguish than violent threats to her well-being. The zombie apocalypse is more of a backdrop for Ava’s self-discovery and stages of grief. If you like a little brains with your undead outbreaks this one is for you.
Watch: In theatres
I have never been a fan of the 28 Years Later saga. Every one of the films just fails to cross the finish line for one reason or another. They are all failed cinematic experiments as without fail they all drift away from the central theme and dissolve into hyperbolic editing and story-telling. This installment follows what happened to Spike (Alfie Williams) , the kid from 28 Years Later who escaped the Bone Temple. This is not a traditional survive the necro-pandemic movie either. It is more akin to A Clockwork Orange. Spike falls in with a roving gang of psychotic killers who pattern themselves after the notorious British media personality and child predator Jimmy Savile and whose leader is the son of the priest from the beginning of 28 Years Later. Believing he’s the son of Lucifer, “Sir Lord” Jimmy Crystal (Jack O’Connell) leads his followers on a looting, torture and killing spree until just as you knew it eventually would, his path crosses with that of Bone Temple architect, eighties music aficionado and zombie MD, Dr. Ian Kelson (Ralph Fiennes).
All of the 28 plot strings are gathered up and stitched together during a big finale as Iron Maiden’s The Number of The Beast roars while a fiery Fiennes holds court like Pinhead from the Hellraiser films. If you have been following the series along you can predict how this sorted tale ends and it ends with a wink to the original film. I appreciate that the filmmakers told this elaborate story with all the pieces fitting into place for those who were paying attention. There is still one more film to go though and I cannot help but wonder if this tale could have been told in one, simple film rather than dragging things out as they have?
Watch: In theatres
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